In 1999, a poll was conducted by a professional Christian research
organization of Americans to determine our understanding and practice
of biblical forgiveness. The results of the poll caused the researchers
to conclude, “that probably very few Americans (and only a
small handful of born-again Christians) have a coherent, biblical
world view of forgiveness. The study’s findings further suggest
that most born-again Christians probably do not practice biblical
forgiveness because they do not understand what it is. It appears
that born-again Christians’ perspectives about forgiveness
are not distinguishable from non-Christians on any widespread or
systematic basis.”[1]
The
findings from this study are disturbing, yet not surprising. Other
studies of American society regularly reveal that the lifestyles
of Christians are not sufficiently different from those of non-Christians.
Christians are suffering in most of the same ways and to the same
degree as those who do not know Jesus.
Is
this what Jesus had in mind when He said that He came that we might
have life to the fullest? Is it possible that we are missing out
on the fullness of God’s life because we do not understand
or practice forgiveness as well as we think we do? You may be an
exception to the findings stated above. If so, you most certainly
are blessed! If you would like to find out how well you are doing
in the area of forgiveness, answer the following questions and check
them with the key at the end.
How
well do I understand forgiveness
| # |
Questions |
True |
False |
| 1 |
Receiving
God’s forgiveness, forgiving others and asking others for
forgiveness
is the starting point for solving most every problem. |
|
|
| 2 |
Anger
disappears when forgiveness is given. |
|
|
| 3 |
People
should repent or act sorry before we forgive them. |
|
|
| 4 |
Compulsive
behaviors result from not practicing forgiveness. |
|
|
| 5 |
A
person can appear healthy and functional without practicing
forgiveness. |
|
|
| 6 |
Forgiving
someone else is a process that takes a long time. |
|
|
| 7 |
God
forgives us because He loves us. |
|
|
| 8 |
We
should always forgive all people who sin against us. |
|
|
| 9 |
There
are times when we need to forgive God. |
|
|
| 10 |
A
person can be forgiven and not feel it. |
|
|
| 11 |
The
most common reason for divorce is the inability to forgive others. |
|
|
| 12 |
Forgiving
someone means we must treat that person as if the sin did not
happen. |
|
|
| 13 |
Some
sins should never be forgiven. |
|
|
| 14 |
If
it happened a long time ago it does not matter anymore. |
|
|
| 15 |
A
broken relationship can be repaired without practicing forgiveness. |
|
|
| 16 |
Time
heals all wounds. |
|
|
| 17 |
Demons
afflict people who do not practice forgiveness well. |
|
|
| 18 |
Practicing
forgiveness makes a person feel better. |
|
|
| 19 |
Forgiveness
is unjust, but it is the right thing to do. |
|
|
| 20 |
Practicing
forgiveness is more important than Sunday morning worship. |
|
|
| 21 |
Saying,
“I’m sorry” is good enough. |
|
|
| 22 |
God
forgives us when we ask Him to. |
|
|
| 23 |
We
can always restore a broken relationship through forgiveness. |
|
|
| 24 |
A
child loses respect for a parent who admits when he or she is
wrong. |
|
|
| 25 |
Practicing
forgiveness will take away all my pain. |
|
|
| 26 |
I
only need to focus on my sins against God, not other people’s
sins. |
|
|
| 27 |
In
order to forgive someone, I must tell that person what he or
she did to me. |
|
|
| 28 |
Forgiving
someone means letting that person do what they want to do. |
|
|
| 29 |
Overlooking
someone’s sin is a good thing to do. |
|
|
| 30 |
God
forgets our sins when He forgives us. |
|
|
How
well am I practicing forgiveness
| # |
Questions |
True |
False |
| A |
I
use the word “forgiveness” in my conversations with other people
several
times each week. |
|
|
| B |
I
forgive people frequently and quickly without any difficulty. |
|
|
| C |
I
confess my sins to God almost daily. |
|
|
| D |
I
regularly ask other people for forgiveness. |
|
|
| E |
When
someone hurts me, I can quickly tell whether or not that person
has
sinned against me or if I have had inappropriate expectations. |
|
|
| F |
When
I forgive someone, my anger goes away. |
|
|
| G |
I
am a happier person because I practice forgiveness. |
|
|
| H |
People
notice the difference in me resulting from my practice of forgiveness. |
|
|
| I |
I
am able to share miraculous stories about forgiveness from my
own life. |
|
|
| J |
I
frequently find myself teaching other people how to practice
forgiveness. |
|
|
Check
the following symptoms of
unresolved forgiveness issues in your own life.
| q |
I
have frequent or constant feelings of anger. |
| q |
I
have frequent or constant feelings of depression. |
| q |
I
am unable to please people even though I try very hard to make
them happy. |
| q |
People
take advantage of me. |
| q |
I
am unable to manage my eating habits. |
| q |
I
am unable to stop certain destructive behaviors in my life. |
| q |
I
believe in God, but have a hard time trusting Him. |
| q |
I
believe in God, but have a hard time feeling love for Him. |
| q |
Fear
of failure keeps me from doing some things I want to do. |
| q |
I
choose relationships with people who are abusive. |
| q |
I
do not feel love for my spouse, children or parents. |
| q |
My
relationships feel superficial and unsatisfying. |
| q |
I
find it difficult to feel God’s love for me. |
| q |
I
feel responsible for other people’s choices. |
| q |
I
use drugs, alcohol or sex to escape pain. |
| q |
I
feel I am never good enough. |
| q |
People
say that I try to control them. |
| q |
I
feel angry towards God. |
| q |
I
am afraid of God. |
| q |
I
have a difficult time telling people what I want to tell them. |
| q |
I
have a difficult time relaxing. |
Answers
to the questions
| 1-T |
2-T |
3-F |
4-T |
5-T |
6-F |
7-F |
8-T |
9-F |
10-T |
| 11-T |
12-F |
13-F |
14-F |
15-F |
16-F |
17-T |
18-T |
19-F |
20-T |
| 21-F |
22-F |
23-F |
24-F |
25-F |
26-F |
27-F |
28-F |
29-F |
30-F |
You
are excelling in forgiveness if your answers to A – E are all TRUE.
If
you feel that your answers to the questions above are less than
what you wish them to be, or if you checked any of the symptoms
in the last section, we would like to offer our services to you.
We
offer seminars and workshops to help you, your family, friends,
church staff and congregation learn how to practice all aspects
of biblical forgiveness. We can provide retreat, conference,
special event, small group and worship-time speakers. We also
provide leadership consultation and personal counseling. Your
church can host one of our basic seminars or we can work with you
and custom design a workshop suitable to your church’s needs.
If
you would like to know when and where the next basic forgiveness
seminars are being held, or if we can answer any other questions,
please contact us.
[1]
Published in “When Forgiveness Doesn’t Make Sense” by Robert Jeffres |
